A. Lincoln Anecdotal Story

Abraham Lincoln, so the story goes, once won a court case by saying in his summation to the jury nothing more than, “The prosecution has the facts of the case 100 % correct, but they have come to the wrong conclusion.”  The jury went out chuckling and came back a short time later with a verdict of not guilty.  According to Lincoln-lore, during the lunch recess Lincoln had privately told the jury this anecdote:  A farmer’s young son came rushing up to him sputtering, “Pa, Pa, I just seen the hired man and sis up in the hayloft.  He was unzipping his pants and she was a lifting her skirt.  Pa, Pa, come quick, they’re about to pee on the new hay!”  “Son,” the farmer replied, “You have the facts 100 % correct, but you’ve come to the wrong conclusion.

Source:   http://blog.trinityaustin.com/2018/02/26/politics-and-peeing-on-new-hay/



 Another of Abe's favorite stories:

. A Revolutionary Relic (NSFW)

[There once was a man] who had great veneration for Revolutionary relics. He heard tha[t] an old lady… had a dress which she had worn during the Revolutionary War. He made a special visit to this lady and asked her if she could produce the dress as a satisfaction to his love of aged things. She obliged him by opening a drawer and bringing out the article in question … the relic hunter took the old dress and kissed it heartily.

The practical old lady rather resented such foolishness over an old piece of wearing apparel and she said: "Stranger, if you want to kiss something old, you had better kiss my ass. It is sixteen years older than that dress.”

— Story relayed by Secretary of the Interior John Palmer Usher (1816-1889)

 https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/57794/11-abe-lincolns-favorite-stories